In less than two weeks, Memorial Day will be here to kick-off the vacation season.
You may have vacation plans you secured months ago or scramble to get some sort of good enough get-away happen for you, your friends, and family.
But there is a question that begs to be asked.
Is vacation really worth it?
I speak a lot to professional women about burnout and chronic stress. One of the common but completely ineffective strategies you hear to restore yourself to sanity is to take some time off – a vacation.
A few years ago I heard from women that returning from vacation was a big let down of ‘back to reality.’
But in the past two years I’ve heard more and more that upon returning from vacation, the whole ordeal wasn’t worth it.
Upon return, there is an onslaught of piled up work, emails, and responsibilities left behind that demand your attention. The temporary reprieve from everyday life wasn’t worth having to come back to a heavier workload – any relaxation experienced was short sided by having to play catch up.
There is another problem with vacation, too.
How long does it take you to be able to fully relax on vacation? A tell-tale sign of chronic stress is being unable to fully relax when you want to and vacation is no exception.
You cannot expect to burn yourself at both ends for months to years on end and completely turn off your over-adrenalized body at the flip of the vacation switch. The body doesn’t work that way.
You may find yourself paying thousands of dollars to try to relax, connect with loved ones, and enjoy some sight-seeing but your mind is still pre-occupied with work, stress, and negative thoughts.
Your body may still hold on to its tight grip of fight-or-flight mode, even when the bahama breeze is trying to call you home to peaceful and playful waters.
So…is vacation really worth it?
I cannot answer that question for you.
But I can give you some reflections to consider:
Are you going on vacation because you think you should?
I’m all for taking time-off from work (just not as a chronic stress antidote), but are you going on a planned vacation because it is what you’ve always done, because everyone else has oh-so-fun-looking vacation pictures, or because it is expected of you by family or friends?
Anything you do because you think you should do it is worthy of pause and reflection.
Are you open to be honest with yourself about how you really want to spend your time off given how you feel and what you need right now?
Perhaps you may benefit from using your time off to stay home and do nothing, get your physical space in order because the mess drives you crazy during the work week, or connect with local friends in a low-key way that nourishes your soul.
Perhaps you may benefit from taking time off in a drip fashion throughout the year…taking one to two days off here and there BEFORE you get stressed out to the point of no return. (This is what my husband and I do, and it makes for a very sustainable and enjoyable life in the day to day world. We don’t have to wait for vacation to connect and relax…we do it now.)
Be aware of implicit messages that vacation is supposed to be 1-2 weeks off at some expensive location.
You’re an adult…make your own decisions with what works best for your life and family without lending false authority to what you ‘should’ be doing.
Are you going on vacation because you think you deserve it?
Yikes. Total deprivation mode.
If you unhealthily self-sacrifice so much that the thought of NOT going somewhere on vacation fills you with disappointment, anger, or resentment, this is a serious wake-up call.
In this case, it’s time to do some inner work so you stop collecting ‘I deserve it’ or ‘I earned it’ points to the detriment of your own emotional health.
Stop treating yourself like an object to be used and abused where your only hope for reprieve is a once a year get-away.
If you feel like you have to earn relaxation time or feel like you deserve something because you worked so hard, you’re likely stuck in a childhood pattern of punishment and reward.
You don’t have to earn relaxation time…this is something that is always available to you without repercussion when you operate from a healthy and mature strong inner core.
Are you going on vacation to make happy memories?
Many people try to create happiness through vacation…a time to purposefully create and recreate joyful memories you can share for a lifetime.
This may be possible if the mind and heart are already deeply connected in your relationships, but vacation cannot make happy memories happen.
Happy memories happen because you already created the internal CONDITIONS that allow an effortless exchange of love between you and someone else.
If you feel you need to get away from the mundane to create happy memories, you haven’t created a genuine warm-hearted environment that ALLOWS meaningful connection.
Stop trying to find happiness “out there” through adventures and destination locations.
Real joy comes from within. Happy vacation memories are short-lived compared to the CONDITIONS you create within your heart and home on a day to day basis.
So….Is vacation really worth it?
If you’re not trying to fill an empty hole or put a cherry on a shitburger sandwich, then go for it!
But if you use vacation to measure up, justify, or force relaxation and connection, I would seriously reconsider.
Peace Is Within Friend,
PS – I can teach you how to have a sustainable life, without relying on vacation to relax and come up for air. Learn how to focus on who + what matters most to you without allowing work, pressure, and other people interfere.
Watch this video on the 3 REAL REASONS you overextend yourself and then sign up below for your free How To Stop Overscheduling: Less Rushed + More Effective video series.
Peace is possible when you look within.
